How We’re Celebrating Our Twins’ 3rd Birthday When One of Our Birthday Boys Is No Longer Here

Please enjoy this wonderful post below from my dear client and friend. The link at the bottom of the article on what not to say to bereaved parents is extremely helpful for those who are encountering an experience with a friend or family members loss of a child.

You can read all about the Canvasser Family Babywearing Journey in the links to my previous posts below, but for now, please scroll down and enjoy Jennifer’s wise words.

Mom went first, in Wrapsody Jandrea. We all agreed that she felt secure and relaxed (as much as was possible) and the suggestion of daddy wanting to try was put off to later.  I have noticed sometimes in my work with parents of preemies, that Babywearing can be a great way to help give the parents, often for the first time, the feeling and experience that they expected parenting to bring to them.  A taste of having things be "normal" or as they expected, even for just a while.

Mom went first, in Wrapsody Jandrea. We all agreed that she felt secure and relaxed (as much as was possible) and the suggestion of daddy wanting to try was put off to later. I have noticed sometimes in my work with parents of preemies, that Babywearing can be a great way to help give the parents, often for the first time, the feeling and experience that they expected parenting to bring to them. A taste of having things be “normal” or as they expected, even for just a while.

you can read about the canvassers babywearing journey in my previous posts:

https://closeathandbaby.wordpress.com/2012/04/28/sometimes-in-rising-to-meet-a-challenge-we-find-deeper-love-than-ever-before/

https://closeathandbaby.wordpress.com/2012/05/02/look-whos-home/

https://closeathandbaby.wordpress.com/2013/01/11/today-i-celebrate-life-micahs-rainbow/

MicahSmiles

My twin boys, Micah and Zachary, have their 3rd birthday coming up, and like most moms, I’m thinking about what kind of cake to bake and how to celebrate their special day. But, unlike most moms, Go BlueI’ll be celebrating my twins’ birthday with only one of my twins in my arms because the other twin only lives in my heart.

A month before Micah and Zachary’s first birthday, Micah passed away from complications of necrotizing enterocolitis. The loss of Micah is devastating. A piece of myself died with my son. Still, I am incredibly blessed because I have beautiful Zachary, a superman husband, a rockstar mom, and an amazingly supportive community.

As any parent can imagine, I was a disaster in the days, weeks and months after Micah’s passing. I had to relearn how to eat, breathe and sleep without Micah. Once I could handle these basic tasks of living…

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The Twin Journey – An Amazing Slice of How it Might Really Be.

Over the years, its been my honor to be involved in several family journey’s welcoming twins.  This beautiful family was amazing enough to let me document their experiences with babywearing, breast feeding, and their nicu stay.

We first met in Elephant Ears, our store, where we learned that they were expecting identical twin boys.  This amazing couple was eager to gain skills to help them handle 2 babies!

Mom and Dad were both eager to learn about baby carriers, car seats and everything baby.  Times 2.

Mom and Dad were both eager to learn about baby carriers, car seats and everything baby. Times 2.

Practicing every Sunday until they felt prepared, these devoted parents – to – be were slowly chipping away at the fear that can come with expecting multiples.

When the boys came, those skills came in handy.

When the boys came, those skills came in handy.

Here are mommy and daddy below snuggling up for a tube feeding of breast milk instead of the boys laying in bed.

mommy with one baby while daddy feeds the other.

mommy getting her tube feed hooked up with one baby while daddy does the other.

Baby carriers can really help make medical interventions like this tube feeding much more intimate and full of bonding.

Baby carriers can really help make medical interventions like this tube feeding much more intimate and full of bonding.

In between the NICU cycle of tests. feedings, naps, and diapers, Babywearing can help draw some of the normalcy back into the post partum period with twins in a medical environment

In between the NICU cycle of tests. feedings, naps, and diapers, Babywearing can help draw some of the normalcy back into the post partum period with twins in a medical environment

Joy, Pride, Closeness, LOVE.

Joy, Pride, Closeness, LOVE.

After a few weeks, everyone went home safe and started using their baby carrier skills to really help handle the logistics of 2 babies at once.

This ring sling carrier really helps with the logistics of feeding 2 babies.  wether it be breast feeding or bottle feeding as you see below.

This ring sling carrier really helps with the logistics of feeding 2 babies. wether it be breast feeding or bottle feeding as you see below.

Mommy or Daddy can pull off this move :)

Mommy or Daddy can pull off this move 🙂

twins home

Building the confidence to care for twins in your home can be hard. I hope everyone can feel as inspired as I was by this amazing couple, that anyone can do it, with a little forethought and a little babywearing.

Look Who’s Home!!!

Thats Right!  Quick Update!!

Look who has been home for a few days now and came in with his beautiful family to see us at Elephant Ears!

 

Now that one brother is home from the NICU, these parents are focused on the three of them helping his twin brother pull all of his strength together and join him at home.

All of us involved in this journey, would just like to say, that Babywearing has been such a gift during the transition from hospital to home.

Please send all of the thoughts and comfort that you have to spare – to little baby twin brother, who is still to come home to his family.

My your healing be swift.

 

Sometimes in rising to meet a challenge, we find deeper love than ever before.

Each baby and parent combo is totally unique and special to me.  Each one is a challenge weather it be physically, logistically, or as in this story, emotionally.  Each family is a joy in my life that brings me a gift of experience so I can better serve the next one I encounter.  I think last week on this visit, my heart grew a little bit bigger.

This story is about beautiful twin boys, born early (around 26 weeks) who have been in the NICU, and the warrior parents by their side.

Lately I had the experience of working with a wonderful family who's babies were in the Brandon NICU Unit in University of Michigan Hospital. They called me up to help them master their wrapsody wrap with one of their babies, who is soon to be going home for the first time 🙂

For these parents of 2 preemies, the first taste of parenthood wasn't at all like they dreamed, and yet they have risen to meet their challenge with such grace. Mama is pumping here after a great session of breastfeeding, and daddy is topping big boy off with a bottle. As these little guys approached their 40 week gestational mark this guy was 7'9" this day.

Good Job to all! Mommy, Daddy and Brandon NICU Nurses and Doctors, look at those cheeks!!!! Mom and Dad were anxious to wrap. The both had purchased Wrapsody wraps before the birth and had attended Ann Arbor Babywearers in preparation to wrap their boys. On this day we could only wrap one baby, and our main goal was to take him over to visit his brother and to have some family time. Our other stated goal was to get both parents comfortable with their wraps and snuggling with their baby.

Mom went first, in Wrapsody Jandrea. We all agreed that she felt secure and relaxed in a front wrap cross carry, (as much as was possible) and the suggestion of daddy wanting to try was put off to later. I have noticed sometimes in my work with parents of preemies, that Babywearing can be a great way to help give the parents, often for the first time, the feeling and experience that they expected parenting to bring to them. A taste of having things be "normal" or as they expected, even for just a while.

As soon as we were done relishing in how awesome it felt to be wrapped up together, we took him to visit his brother. Mama said how nice it was to be able to hold both her babies as close as possible at the same time. It was a magic time as we all focused our energy and love on this little boy who needs our thoughts. Many nurses were following and watching us, they were all so loving and helpful.

Daddy finally convinced mommy that it was a good time to switch. Mom had a nice long talk into that isolette about how it was time to heal up really strong and come out to us, because mommy and daddy expected to have 2 babies to wrap, and he was so wanted and loved!!!

Daddy explaining to the nurses how the wrap feels and why he loves it. They were so interested, and more nurses were behind me watching.

We just popped his monitor down through the wrap and poked it out the bottom and wrapped over it. It worked really well 🙂

I brought them a ringsling as well, just to play with, and i gave them a little lesson and left it there for them to use, just in case they needed another tool in their belt.

Babywearing was a high point in these parents day, I think we all agreed on that before I left. Mama was right with both her boys, up close and I could tell that her spirits were lifted.

I am wishing with all of my heart, that everyone who reads this will send a thought out to this family.  This is their wish, that and to share the gift of babywearing with other parents that are on this type of  journey that might feel that it could help them.

Thank you so much to this  Mama and Daddy for sharing your family’s brave story with us.  Our goal was to show how beneficial babywearing can be in a NICU setting at the right moments.

I will update on this family as it is available.  But for now, Send your good thoughts and prayers.